Tales of a Barmaid

Cooking with Vampires

We found Nolan!

I know he’ll just disappear again, cause no one can make that vampire wear a bell, but it’s like a breath of fresh air having him in the house.

Eric didn’t want me going with him to Fangtasia tonight because the weather’s been so crazy that it can be dangerous, so Nolan and I stayed in and watched TV.

That guy has such weird taste, you have no idea!

I guess being a shifter turned vampire will do that to you, though.

Anyway, we get along great. We always have, but I guess that’s cause he’s really laid back for a vampire. None of that competitive stuff, at least that I’ve seen. I think that’s part of why Eric turned him. That, and the whole too-bonded thing with Pam. I never ask too much about that. I figure it’s private.

Anyway, Nolan insisted on watching this show, Swamp People. I figured it was something about Bigfoot, but he explained that it’s apparently about some people in Louisiana who hunt alligators or something, and it’s “epic.” I hope Eric doesn’t hear him using that word. He teased me so much last time…

Anyway, the show was pretty good. Not my thing, but Nolan got into it. Then we watched Rachel Ray shows on the Food Network. Weird choice for a vampire, but Nolan clearly had a thing for Ms. Ray. He has some weird taste in women, but I’m not judging.

Afterwards, he insisted on trying out some of the recipes. It seemed a weird urge for him, but again, not judging. He’s actually not too bad a cook, though he seemed a little depressed he couldn’t eat any of it. I fixed up some fancy blood for him, and we boxed up the food we made to send to Waylon. That way, even if we messed it up, it’ll get eaten.

I miss time away from Eric, of course, but time with friends can be a really surprising treat.

The Bar with Less Bite

I never thought I’d say it, but Fangtasia is growing on me.

No, really.

Fangbangers and assorted other slutty girls aside, the place really isn’t so bad after a while. I mean, in a lot of ways, it’s just like other clubs, isn’t it?

I can’t really say I approve of the vampires being all on display, but the vampires don’t really seem to mind, and the humans sure as heck don’t. They flock to it, and the vampires generally bask under the attention, even if they don’t always show it. Of course, it’s still wrong, but they can do what they want as long as it’s not hurting anyone. And I have to give Eric credit; in Fangtasia, no one gets hurt.

Plus, I really am making friends there. I’m close with most of the staff, Pam more than anyone, aside from Eric, that is. She’s great. Such a sense of humor. I got her an Alice in Wonderland DVD last week. You know, the Disney version? She didn’t quite get it, but I think she appreciated the thought.

Chow’s awesome too, even though he reminds me a little too much of my high school gym coach. Weird.

Mason and Melissa work the bar, and they’re always super sweet to me, and Melissa always makes sure to scare off anyone who doesn’t know I’m very much taken. I know they’d both look after me if I’d ever need it.

Bianca comes in every once in a while. I think she enjoys being fawned over more than she actually feels any obligation to work. Plus, she gets to yell at people. I think she likes that.

I think Ginger still works at Fangtasia. I don’t know if she actually gets paid. I don’t know what she actually does. I don’t know if she ever actually leaves the club. The other night, I caught her singing Christmas carols. I can’t imagine what’s wrong with that girl.

I love seeing Kaleb there, too. He’s a great DJ, and a pretty comforting presence in the club.

Plus, I love spending the extra time with Eric. That makes up for all the fangbangers, all the slutty girls, and all the nasty women thinking all those really awful thoughts. When he takes my hand, even if we’re in the middle of Fangtasia, everything else just fades away.

Like I said, the club really is growing on me.

Monday Love

I love Mondays.

I know that’s weird and people always complain about that day of the week because that’s when the weekend ends and everyone goes back to work, and that’s understandable, but completely not how I feel.

See, Mondays, Fangtasia’s closed. Every Monday, every week, no Fangtasia. It’s like a little gift.

And usually, that means I get to keep my vampire all to myself.

Our lives are so busy, so chaotic, so hectic, that a little time alone is a really rare thing. With both our jobs and both out reputations, people always want something from one of us, and it’s usually nothing fun. Mondays, though, seem like a day off. Or at least a night off, where Eric’s concerned.

Tonight, we watched Gladiator, which I hadn’t seen since Jason was obsessed with it since we were younger. I liked it a lot back then, who wouldn’t like Russell Crowe, but I kept those thoughts to myself. Eric wasn’t quite as good at keeping his thoughts to himself as he endlessly complained about historical inaccuracies. I didn’t ask how he knew so much about Roman history, but I wondered if it had something to do with his Maker. I figured it was better not to ask.

Eric does not like Russell Crowe. I wonder if he picked up on my thoughts anyway. We talked about maybe watching that Robin Hood movie he was in next week anyway. I have a feeling he’ll complain about that too, if we end up watching it. It’s probably wrong to feel, but I like bickering with him about the movies. It’s all good-natured, and it reminds me of when we started dating. Besides, it invariably leads to the bedroom. Maybe that’s why he’s always picking fights with me…

Yeah, Robin Hood definitely sounds good for next week…

Humans Can Suck Too

I usually don’t work Sundays, but I had to make an exception today. One of the newer waitresses couldn’t show up, car troubles or something, so I filled in for her. I didn’t mind at all, except for one little thing.

I wasn’t expecting to go to work, so I didn’t make sure Eric healed my fang marks all the way. He closed them and all, of course, but didn’t totally erase them. I like when he wakes up and sees them on my neck. He gets all growly and excited and all sorts of fun things happen.

That’s what I expected to result from my fang marks today. Unfortunately, that’s not exactly what happened.

I had to go into work, so I put on one of those cute little scarves I bought just for that reason. They hide fang marks, plus, they go really well with my uniform. Add that personal touch, you know?

Unfortunately, with those scarves, everyone knows what they’re for. It’s not really hiding fang marks it everyone knows what’s under the cute scarves.

That’s when I wish I could block out thoughts better. They’re not always kind. Really, they’re almost never kind.

I got called a fangbanger and so many other names today, at least in people’s heads. I’m used to it by now. I’ve been with Eric almost a year, and Bill for a long time before that, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt at some level. I kept that stupid, sunny smile on my face so firmly that my friends were asking what was wrong, but I didn’t want to say.

Instead, I just got through my shift as fast as possible, and then practically sped home to Eric. For once, I was real glad he got me a fast car. He was awake when I got home, and alarmed that I was upset, but alarmed turned to angry when he found out why. I had to stop him from going all the way to Bon Temps for who knows what. He stayed at home with me, though, and after he calmed down, he made me feel a lot better.

People accuse vampires of being insensitive and of not having feelings, but Eric definitely knows when I need him to hold me close and tell me he loves me. I love that about him. And I love that he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks about him, me, or us. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care enough for the both of us, and at times like this, that’s appreciated.

Sleeping with the Fishes

I got home from work today to the strangest sight: there were two dozen fish sitting in my kitchen. Well, Eric’s kitchen. And not food-type fish. Aquarium-type fish. I must’ve stood there for half an hour wondering what the heck was going on. Luckily I always get home close to dark, so it wasn’t too long until Eric rose.

And that was where he found me: in the kitchen, staring at these bowls of fish. I mean, it’s not exactly a common sight, is it? Eric had an explanation, though, if a strange one.

He said that Angelo was always talking about sleeping with fish, and so he bought some for Clyde’s aquarium in Angelo’s room. He thought the fish could live with the octopus and sleep with Angelo, and somehow this all made sense to him.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that sleep with the fishes is just mob-talk for dying. I guess it’s appropriate, since Angelo already died and everything.

Still, I can’t help but wonder what he’ll say when he gets back home.

I think it was a pretty thoughtful thing for Eric to do, if really, really strange.

Eric’s Assistant

Layla called today. It wasn’t anything urgent or anything, just a reminder to get Hundr vaccinated this weekend. I guess when a seer tells you to do something, you do it. I made him a vet appointment for tomorrow morning.

It got me thinking, though. I’ve heard so many times from Jason’s various girlfriends about their jealousy over his exes. Should I be jealous of Layla?

I don’t think I am. I mean, she creeps me out, to be perfectly honest. The idea that she can see into the future and know stuff about what’s going to happen… I can’t say it makes me comfortable. The other night, Eric got into work, and there was a note for him to instruct the bouncers not to let anyone named Jim into the club. I guess that’s why he hired her in the first place, but I thought it was a little creepy.

I feel like I should be jealous or something, but it’s hard to be, knowing that things are really over between them. I don’t feel anything weird through our bond when he gets a note or a call from her, and even though they share an office and everything, I’m not even sure he thinks about it anymore.

She’s a constant presence in our lives still, which is a little weird, but she’s more of a behind the scenes presence than one I see every day. Actually, most of the times I’ve seen her recently has been at Claude’s house. She seems to be spending a lot of time there, though I can’t quite figure out why. She’s not part fae, as far as I know anyway. I’m really thankful for that. It’d be weird as heck to be related to her.

Eric says they broke up because they wanted different things. I’m grateful for that, because even though I’m not a seer like her, I know Eric and I belong together. She doesn’t seem bitter about anything either, which is nice. One of Jason’s exes tried to set his then-girlfriend on fire once. We seem to be avoiding that.

I’m hoping she ends up happy, because even if she is one of Eric’s exes, she’s still his bonded, and I want his bonds to all be happy. I know it’s important to him, and even if it’s not in the same way as it used to be, I know she’s still important to him. That sort of thing matters.

Staying Alive

I don’t know how my life ended up this way, but people try to kill me pretty frequently.

Well, I’ve got some theories on why that is, but it’s probably not a good idea to get into that right now.

Anyway, I love some of these shows on TV and all, but I never quite get them. They’re entertaining as heck to watch, but the girls in them can be dumb as dirt.

When someone’s chasing you, you should NOT run into a deserted alleyway or parking lots of some sort.

You should NOT wear heels, cause then you just fall down, and you’re easy as pie to kill.

And if someone’s killing the guy you love or your family member, you should absolutely NOT just stand there screaming. It never helps. And then you’ll probably be next. Running through fire to save someone really isn’t that bad. I lived through it with Eric.

As Garry quoted to me once, I think from some horror movie I’m not brave enough to watch myself, “Some stupid killer stalking some big breasted girl who cant act who is always running up the stairs when she should be going out the front door. It’s insulting.”

This sorta stuff happens a lot. It’s amazing how in these shows or movies, no one ever thinks to just… leave town. Or call the cops. Or go stay with a male relative or something. Or buy a gun. Or install a good security system.

I never thought of myself as particularly good in those types of situations, but I guess compared to some of these women in these shows and movies, I could teach a dang class or, if you ask Pam, write an advice column.

I’d like to keep it that way, too!

When I Get Home

After a day at work, it’s naturally nice to come home to a comfortable, quiet house. I think that’s the same for everyone, isn’t it? It’s nice to be home.

It’s weird to think that home is now Eric’s place in Shreveport. Well, I guess I still call it’ “Eric’s Place” in my head sometimes, but still, it’s home. Home is home too, but right now, Angelo and Isabella are living there. It would’ve been awfully strange to have all four of us plus Nolan, Hundr, and Clyde the octopus, all living under one roof. Nolan’s never around, though, at least where we can find him, so that’s not so awkward, and Hundr and Clyde don’t listen in on what Eric and I do on the bedroom. Angelo always had an awful habit of that, though… How awkward, with his wife around.

It’s so nice to have it really feel like a home, though. It’s such a small, silly thing, really. To be able to do our laundry, cook my meals, warm Eric’s blood, feed Hundr, make our bed, tidy up after us. It feels like our house, our home.

A year ago, I had just agreed to help Eric try to get rid of the V dealers that seemed to be taking over Shreveport. I was annoyed with Bill’s overprotectiveness, but we were still dating. Who knew that a year from then, Eric and I would be married.

Married-ish, anyway.

I was beyond frustrated, back then, that I was so kept out of the loop. Bill never told me a thing, and at first, Eric and I had real communication issues too, keeping things from each other. A year can make a big difference, thankfully. Now, we’re really, truly close. I feel like I could tell him anything. He knows all my secrets, and I hope he knows he can tell me all of his. It’ll be a year ago this month that Bill and I broke up, and though it was really painful at the time, now, I couldn’t be more grateful.

Now, I have a home, a family, and a husband. It really is amazing, the difference a year can make, and I’m so grateful for it.